Another failed attempt to do my lesson plan has resulted in a semi-coherent poem which seems to have as its sole purpose the succession of words that rhyme with ‘eyes’. I think I will change the caption of this blog to ‘everything a girl can do instead of work’.
This is a poem about what I don’t like about myself, and a lot of you out there can probably relate.
I have often wondered, friends, just who and what am I?
I now give up this thankless task: I’m impossible to define,
I’ve always lived to please, you see, so I am all disguise,
For who would want to see displeasure in all your worthy eyes?
Who would want to be themselves, but forever despised?
Who would want to live unloved, a solitary life?
Don’t let my daring declaration take you by surprise,
Maybe you’ll even see yourself in some of what I imply,
Here are the rules of life for me, please feel free to apply:
I nod, agree, say thank you and please, and am always polite,
Bite my tongue to keep the peace, yes even when I’m right,
I’ve learned from my experience now that nothing’s worth the fight,
I’ll go home pale, shaking and obsessing late into the night,
I’ll play it all over in my head and never get it right,
Conflict makes me cringe and flinch and fills my heart with fright,
I’d rather flee than feel the pain of not appearing nice,
What else would I not do for you and your most worthy eyes?
My head is filled to bursting point with me myself and eyes,
For their approval I admit I’ve told too many lies,
Kept all my flaws behind the surface of my plastered smile,
Put up with every push and shove and then gone home to cry,
Then given way to a raging battle between me, myself and why?
Why act like a silly fool in an effort to impress some guy?
Why keep quiet about the things you know are fair and right?
Inwardly disagree with things and outwardly comply?
Why didn’t you ask that woman there to bloody apologise?
She stepped on your foot, you idiot, and now she’s out of sight!
Why don’t you just be more assertive, not stew on the inside?
Or sit in discontented silence half your sorry life?
Why don’t you say you’re angry, hurt, when opportunity alights?!
Okay, I know, my rules are wrong, this cannot be denied,
I deserve firm principles by which to live my life,
Should always act how I see fit, not torture myself with why?
I am me and not a reflection off of ever-changing eyes,
All that’s beautiful in me must one day see the light
I pray for poise and inner peace, with me, myself and I.